Kolbe: Hey guys I decided to chat because a ton of stuff happened this week and I am too lazy to write a letter.
Mom: Wait though...is this okay for you emotionally???
Kolbe: Yeah, yeah, yeah I need it trust me. I feel good about it. I prayed about it.
Dad: Okay then let's go!
Kolbe: Man where do I start...First of all lets just say this was the best worst week of my mission.
Dad: Okay start with your comp. How was it this week?
Kolbe: Went from bad to worse. I talked with the President and got a phone call last night that I am receiving an Elder Wamsly from Wisconsin as my new comp this cambio. That happens tomorrow.
Dad: How did it go worse?
Kolbe: He just completely stopped talking to me basically. The zone leaders took us on inter cambios and it was right before the cambios and they talked to him a lot about stuff and then we got the call last night.
Dad: Will you be in a threesome? And tell us about your conversation with your president.
Kolbe: We just talked about the stuff going on. I don't really want to focus on it though because it gets me upset. I would much rather talk about the happy stuff. And no it's cambios for the whole mission so I am just getting a new comp.
Dad: Did you have a baptism last week?!?
Kolbe: Yes!!! It was Andrea. It was a super awesome service but holy crap everything that could go wrong went wrong. First she was super nervous and was about to back out so we barely got her to get there. Also the time of the baptism changed about 30 times so no one had any clue what was going on. Then we went to gather investigators and ended up being 20 minutes late. Then she forgot her clothes at home for the baptism so her parents ran home for them. Then we go to baptize her and the font is locked and no one had a key so this dope RM named Emilio picked the lock and we got in. Then her knee came up during the first time so we had to baptize her again. But holy cow it was so amazing. Honestly this week I was seriously considering coming home I had been suffering so much. But when I saw the pure joy on her face when she bore her testimony and just the change that happened with her, I knew that I needed to be here!
Mom: I've been praying like crazy something would change your heart to make you want to stay. I know it's where you are supposed to be! I know it will be worth the struggles. Sounds like even though it was a crazy day, it ended up being an amazing day!!! I'm hoping you got pictures!
Dad: I've had similar feeling all week about you needing to be there. My lesson this week for the priests was titled "Why do we have adversity." I was reading the talk Do We Trust Him? Hard is Good by Elder Stanley G. Ellis to get ready and it just washed over me again, and again that even though it sucks for you right now, you need this and more than that, the people in Bolivia need you. Read that talk if you get a minute!
Kolbe: I will read that for sure. Honestly I am not gonna lie I have never felt so alone and worthless in my life. I wake up at 5 every morning and just ache. My comp doesn't help me at all when I talk to him about stuff and so that makes it harder. But I really know that this is where I need to be and I am so excited to get my new comp and have a fresh start. Honestly I know I will be grateful for the struggles too. And yes...it was an AMAZING day. The best part was the confirmation the next day that I got to do.
Dad: Oh wow! Was it hard to do in Spanish?
Kolbe: Yes but honestly the confirmation was super nice. It was done in sacrament meeting so I was super nervous but the gift of tongues is real. I know the spirit was speaking through me.
Mom: I love everything about this! So amazing!!! Tender mercies for sure. I think Heavenly Father wanted to make sure you knew he was aware of you!
Dad: Oh how I wish I could have been there for that.
Kolbe: All my friends in the ward told me that it was a super pretty blessing and they thought I was a native up there.
Dad: That makes my day!
Kolbe: This week we lost basically every other investigator and we had nothing all week. We contacted for 6 plus hours every day and holy crap that is not fun let me tell you. Also it was really embarrassing when the Zone leader came and I had to explain why we had an empty day. I'm excited for my new comp. I haven't met him yet. He is currently outside in Potosi. He's been in the mission about 14 months now. He will be my trainer sorta for a cambio and then a regular comp for one more. But I have to direct the area so I am basically not in training.
Dad: Don't be embarrassed by empty days. Every missionary in the history of missionary work has had an empty day. Also all week we knew you were struggling. Mom has a pretty neat connection with the spirit and she had a vivid dream about you. Many people were fasting and praying for you. We have all been pulling for you as a family.
Kolbe: Yes for sure. I don't know why I had to have such a hard first cambio but I have really been strengthened by it I think. What was the dream mom had?
Dad: I can't remember the details, maybe mom can, I just know it's related to your struggle. Also I wasn't supposed to teach this week but through strange circumstances it landed on my lap and of course it's about adversity which was all I was thinking about all week.
Kolbe: Adversity is supposed to strengthen us but I feel like it was breaking me.
Mom: Usually is does almost break us before it strengthens us...I dreamed you came home and were heartbroken because you felt like you "had quit" and you realized that it was not the easier thing to do in the end but had now missed out on lots of opportunities and blessings. I was really upset at first because it was so real and I wasn't sure if it was a dream because the emotions were so real. Just as I was about to get out of bed and go downstairs to see if you were home, a peace washed over me and the Lord confirmed to me that if you would hang in there, you would get through this and be okay and the blessings would be so great! It was nice to feel that peace because it was a really hard week for me worrying about where you were mentally. It got me through the past couple of days knowing that Christ was well aware of you and your situation and I felt that without a shadow of a doubt. It was definitely a gift and tender mercy for me!
Dad: And when she says real about that dream like completely real. I am constantly amazed how close your mother is to the spirit. Also you talked earlier about aching...boy do I know that feeling. Right after my accident in that avalanche I couldn't get off my parents couch. Everything hurt, and not just physically. I couldn't breath without wanting to scream. Nothing helped until I lost myself in the service on my mission.
Kolbe: Yes mom is truly amazing!!! Yes I honestly thought about coming home every single day and every single day it got worse. But the baptism really put everything into perspective. Holy crap I am so nervous about tomorrow though. Oh and thanks for sharing those insights with me you guys. I needed to hear it!
Dad: Why are you nervous for tomorrow? Scared for your new companion or what?
Kolbe: No because I have to step up big time. I have to show the area, all the investigators...basically I have to be the man and I feel like I don't know enough yet!
Mom: Actually it's the best thing because it give you the confidence you have been lacking I was in a funk before working seriously. But now I feel like I have purpose again and it's been so good for me. It will be good for you. Really good!
Dad: Back to the avalanche. I had nightmares almost every night. I never had one bad dream about it while on the mission. They came back after my mission, but really started to go away after I married mom. Recently as I've talked about it more they have come back but not in the painful way they used to. Basically what I think I'm trying to say is that God will bless you with what you need to get through the tough times. I'm hoping that blessing is Elder Wamsly. It also might be when you work hard it will just be that your focus will shift from you to them and that will help ease your burden. The closer you are to God and the Sprit, the easier a hard burden will feel - it won't mike it any less hard, you will just have help. And look at this added responsibility as a blessing actually. It will help you to establish more of a partnership, which is something I think you truly lacked with your last companion.
Kolbe: Mom I just read your email about the homesickness. Thanks for the advice. It is actually a lot of the same stuff my good friend Elder Ortolano told me. I have been comparing myself to everyone else and it has been so bad for me. Yes I really need to gain that confidence. Yesterday was an insanely awesome day for missionary work. We put 5 fechas last night so we will have some good work here for awhile. I am excited for it. Also Dad I never knew that. Thank you for sharing that. I am definitely just going to go in to tomorrow with fresh eyes and a fresh heart. I am super excited. I hope we can just work well together.
Mom: You will work as good together as you allow. Find his strengths and love him for those. And yes, one of my favorite sayings is comparison is a thief of joy. I believe that 100%
Dad: Was zone conference good?
Kolbe: Zone conference was amazing! I didn't understand much but it was good to be with all the missionaries. And mom I'm excited for him. Everyone says he is so amazing so I'm hyped!
Mom: I'm excited for you. I actually felt that change would come for you.
Kolbe: So did a lot of people here
Dad: Not to go back to this but keep in mind when you think of home that honestly there isn't much here for you right now. I look at Bailey Morgan and all I see is someone who doesn't know what her place in life is. Please don't say anything to her about this but she honestly looks lost and hopeless. Coming home would give you nothing other than more emptiness and that feeling of hopelessness. Keep fighting the good fight. There will be a huge reward for you.
Kolbe: Yes for sure. I definitely realized that this week. Also thanks so much for the drawing. I carry it with me in my book of mormon and read your note whenever I get down. It really helps a lot
Dad: I think about that picture a lot. I took a snapshot of it before I sent it to you. For some reason it makes me feel closest to you when I look at it.
Kolbe: It is right in my Book of Mormon all the time. I show the investigators and they love it!
Before I go I have to tell you about my day yesterday. It was the best! We had a cita with an awesome family and all the girls committed to being baptized in the first visit. They are super awesome and I am excited to work with them. Then we went to an area way far out in our area and we had a cita with a contact I had with our Zone Leader and we taught her and her 3 friends and it went super well. On the way out the door she grabbed me and said "Thank you so much. I really need this in my life. The peace I feel here is amazing." It was super awesome!!! Then we went to a cita with the brother of a member that just moved here from La Paz and he was super receptive. He was at church and came up to us and asked what he needs to do to become a part of this church. We went and taught him and he committed to baptism next month so that is super cool!
Mom: I love it! And now I'm crying because today was a tender mercy for me. I've had such a heavy heart all week since your last pday and it really affected me. My load has been lifted today with all the good things you are sharing with us. A mission is hard and will be full of ups and downs but I'm thankful to know the storm is clearing and sunshine is on the horizon for you.
Kolbe: Yes I am so excited for this week.
Dad: Well take this gift of a new companion and run with it. What a great blessing and it sounds like there is already new work for you guys!
Kolbe: Yes we got blessed last night for sure!
Mom: See...tender mercies. Record these to look back on when the hard times hit!
Kolbe: Yes! I have been! Thank you guys! I love you both so much!
Bautismo de Andrea...
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